It was some 45 years ago when I really did have pneumonia. I was in the hospital with a ridiculously high fever, say 105 degrees Fahrenheit. I was busy dreaming about this apple tree just out my window that I had engineered to drip fresh juice directly into my mouth. Every time this male nurse was on duty, he would antagonize me by waking me up every hour and making me drink a full glass of water. He was relentless. But every time he was on duty, my temperature went down a few degrees. Every time he was not on duty, my temperature went back up. Finally, he pulled a double shift and broke my fever so I could get out of the hospital. I never got to thank him, so I always send him blessings wherever he may be. My posting yesterday reminded me to honor him with this posting. But also, to extend the blessings to all those who truly care about helping other people, just for the sheer pleasure of doing so.
Category: Observing
Western Medicine
What changes would I like to see in western medicine? I have an inkling of what changes my higher self would like. But this posting is more of my reactions to my recent experiences.
I know it would help immensely for every aspect – administrative, legal, insurance, medical doctors (MDs), nurses, lab technicians, pharmacists – to let go of the materialist mindset. It’s utterly ridiculous to confine medicine to only what can be seen and tactile requirements. The effects of thoughts and feelings have been proven for way to long to continue to be so ignored. A recent MD actually did not trust her own ability to hear that my lungs were clear. And actually, she didn’t even seem to believe the chest x-ray she pushed so hard for. She knew it was bronchitis and not pneumonia, but she kept wanting to talk about pneumonia. It was beyond frustrating.
It would also help for administrative, legal and insurance personnel and the MDs to admit how broken the current system is. Some of the responsibilities and power that should be shared with nurses and pharmacists is all placed on MDs. And we simply do not have enough MDs to handle the demand. I only get to see and talk to my primary physician once a year. The rest of the year he is too swamped and overwhelmed for me to have any communication with him. That’s insane. I’ve needed things for a month already and it will be more than a month before my annual appointment. Messages to his nurses prompt a phone call to me, IF I’m able to answer the phone at the time. And if I do get to answer, typically the suggestion is to go to urgent care.
The Urgent Care system is also so broken and easily overwhelmed.
I wish we could return to the days when all I needed was a good registered nurse. She could see me when I needed to be seen. She could diagnose and prescribe medications. I rarely needed to see my primary for anything. Now, I’m supposed to see my primary for everything and he is completely unavailable at all times that would be useful to me. And he doesn’t know who I am, what my history is, or even what is in my chart.
And why in the world has the United States never allowed pharmacists to prescribe? That is and has always been just pure insanity.
The other thing is how compartmentalized everything is now. When a surgeon is done, they’re done; regardless of whether there were any complications or even just simple questions. When one situation affects another situation; that’s completely ignored.
For some completely unknown reason that certainly had nothing to do with common good, state legislation increased the amount that MDs could be sued for and sent the cost of malpractice insurance even higher and our state lost 30% of its doctors. The system was overwhelmed and broken before that. Now, ridiculous doesn’t even describe it.
For the decision makers to admit how broken their current system is would help immensely.
And we haven’t even mentioned actually caring more about the patient than about insurance and legalities. It would be phenomenal to be considered a person again. And then maybe I could even be seen in a holistic manner of approach. Western medicine has times of brilliance, but it is ignorant of and ignoring way too much to be of much use to clients in its current state.
Inner Path
I have found my path to be an inner path. Outer paths have not worked for me; although some forms of prayer, meditation, visualization, chanting and yoga are helpful tools. I get lots of assistance and suggestions from various people; but I’ve never agreed with expecting someone else to make it happen for me, especially through some outer ritual. There was a time when a participatory ritual helped me believe that was actually shifting into a new phase in my journey; but now I just know within. By coming into embodiment on Earth we have taken on an overcoat of illusions. Even though we have all taken on similar illusions; the way we have reacted internally is unique to each one of us. Our reactions are what form the veil between our four lower bodies and our higher self. And since only we know how we have reacted within, only we can free ourselves of these reactions. What I’ve found is that I free myself by a process of observation. I observe my internal reactions to outer circumstances. Then I identify how I’m feeling because of my own reactions. Then I look at the beliefs I harbor that might be behind these feelings and determine whether I want to hang on to these beliefs or modify them. And then I look at how these feelings and beliefs relate to how I currently identify myself and determine if I want to modify the view I have of myself. Many people call this process resolving one’s psychology.
I was talking with this man, who is both a Buddhist monk and a Catholic priest from India. I said I had never been to any Eastern countries beyond some of the Asian countries, and asked if my intuitive perception that people with a basis in Eastern spirituality tend to make themselves more available to spiritual events in their lives, that they have a part to play in answered prayer. It seemed that people with a basis in Western spirituality have an almost entitled attitude in their prayer life, that we tend to have a sort of God as Santa Claus approach to prayers. As I said this, I realized it applied to me; just like most things people say apply more to themselves than anyone else. I’ve waited for a large chunk of my life for my higher self to sort of magically show up. When I did recognize my responsibility for “preparing the way;” I felt it was too overwhelming to actually ever achieve. A lot of people don’t recognize a need or their own power to make changes in their lives so they can manifest their spiritual goals. I just hadn’t given myself credit for the progress I had indeed made already.
Letting the Light Work
I recently went to something called an intensive. For three days I was focused on answering the one question of: “Who am I?” I found I wanted to answer: “What am I?” The facilitator explained that answering “what” is like describing the forest and answering “who” is like saying how one tree is unique. I found it very difficult and also found that I kept wanting to get the spotlight off myself. We weren’t allowed to “help” each other. In fact, we were asked to be in silence; except during the specific exercises. There was one lady in obvious deep emotional pain. It was difficult for me not to focus my attention on her. I asked the facilitator to help her, since I couldn’t. He kept his boundaries pristine by answering that he would be glad to assist her, IF SHE asked him. He said that he had found it was best to just let the light work. I decided to trust him to know his business in facilitating these workshops. I decided to trust the woman to do what was appropriate for her. And I decided to trust my own knowledge that my intention had more to do with getting my attention off myself and onto someone else. AND I decided to trust the light. I decided to let the light work not only in the other woman, but in myself. The rest of the weekend I repeated to myself to let the light work. Some people call “the light” Christ consciousness or the Holy Spirit or the universe or the comforter that Jesus said he would send. No matter the terminology, it’s known to be intelligent and always know how to harmonize any situation. It’s known to always produce the highest good for all involved.
When I let the light work; I don’t focus on the splinter in someone else’s eye. I focus on what I seem to be blind to in myself. When I let the light work; I trust another person’s process for themselves. When I let the light work; I trust my own process. I also don’t degrade myself. If I have a stain on my dress, I certainly never think that I am that stain. I simply change and wash the stain out. Is it really any more difficult for anything I want to change in myself? Not if I can stop identifying whatever it is as a needed or unchangeable part of myself. It is a given that the light always works. Just like water will always flow into the lowest areas until it levels out, so does the light. I trust the nature of light to highlight what I need to see and help me balance it. I don’t have to worry. I feel confident. I feel far more relaxed. I feel peaceful. I make better decisions. I notice more synchronicity in events. I feel more patient and tolerant, even with myself.
Authentic Who? 